Lockdown holiday to Kentucky is ‘insultingly bad’

So it was with great excitement that I was invited along to a “global guided tasting tour” from whisky company Wild Turkey for a virtual holiday to Kentucky from the comfort of my own home.

It was sold as an immersive experience into the world of the renowned distilling family. I could almost feel the prickly heat of the deep south and the banjo notes ringing through the air as I read the advert.

I’m a big fan of whisky, Kentucky and the brand’s creative director Matthew McConaughey – so what could go wrong?

Well, quite a lot as it turns out.

My wife and I cracked open our whiskies and turned on our Google Home device to get our hard-earned mini break going.

It did not get off to a good start – as the robotic tour guide’s emotionless voice welcomed us to the Deep South.

She wanted our birthdays to check we were old enough to drink, but that’s about as much as she could handle and the rest of the “tour” was an insultingly bad mess.

After a bland opening spiel, we were played a recorded message from master distillers Jimmy and Eddie Russell about the whisky we were trying – which was quite nice for the whole 45 seconds it lasted.

Then the robotic tour guide butted in again and all hell broke loose.

She would put open statements to us like “let me know when you’re ready to continue” – which we tried a myriad different responses to.

“We’re ready.” “Go ahead.” “Please continue.” “Get on with the bloody tour.” Nothing.

Then there would be silence for minutes on end, punctuated by me and my wife openly mocking the ridiculousness of it all.

We even reset the tour because we feared our tour guide had suddenly died, and on the second run it was even worse.

She would open up for questions like, “Can I add water to my whiskey?” or, “Do you have a good cocktail recipe for this?”

But when you asked, she would tell you something completely unrelated.

Perhaps it was our English and Aussie accents that threw her off, but the whole thing was glitchy, unresponsive and, to be honest, a complete waste of time.

The one upside is it allayed my fears of the world being taken over by AI-driven robots, because on this evidence they are pretty dumb so far.

While our tour guide would get a one-star review on TripAdvisor, it’s important to stress that the whiskies were really good.

We were sent the 101 Proof Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, which is super strong at 50.5 per cent, but it has deep and sweet notes of caramel and vanilla. It’s perfect for an old fashioned.

We also had the Longbranch Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey, which has a more straightforward bourbon with a toasted oak-like finish. This one’s good just on the rocks.

Drinks round up

I’ve refrained from writing too many alcoholic drinks roundups in recent weeks because we could all do with looking after ourselves a little more in these trying times.

However, I have been sent a bunch of stuff that has recently landed on Aussie shelves and some of it is pretty good. If any of them tickle your fancy, please enjoy responsibly.

On the whisky front, a new scotch has landed here from Laphroaig (I have no idea how to say that). Their new 10-Year-Old Sherry Oak is a new take on its single malt – and it’s a really nice smoky Islay dram with hints of bacon and maple syrup. It goes well straight, with a cheeseboard.

Another classic scotch, Glengoyne, has gone through a makeover using 100 per cent recyclable packaging this month. They proudly claim to be the slowest whisky distiller in Scotland.

We tried the 12-year-old edition of its single malt and it was nothing out of the ordinary, but just a really good, smooth scotch with some intensely sweet and fruity notes.

If rum is more your thing, then some really good options have hit the shelves.

One of them is a Venezuelan rum called Diplomático which is so good you can just enjoy neat or with a touch of ice.

Another to look out for is Plantation Stiggins’ Fancy Pineapple Rum which has an unusual but delicious fruity taste – that isn’t overpowering. It’s real good with a dash of soda water.